Warning
As you probably can see by now, this website is not for the faint of heart. If you are insulted by foul language and dank memes, then GTFO and find a regular place to study for the SAT. If you are a concerned parent, click here
Welcome to SAT 101
Alright high schoolers, it's time to fuck shit up. But first, y'all better listen the fuck up.
My name is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and I'm here to help you destroy the SAT.
I’ve been helping students beat this test for years, and I’m sick of seeing it shatter their self-esteem. In that time, I’ve mastered the test inside out, and want to share my knowledge with the world for free. I'm also sick and tired of seeing people waste their time and money on ineffective prepping and studying. So here's some effective studying.
God damn, I'm a fuckin' hero. To learn more about my legendary journey, click here.
Figure 1.1
Why the SAT Sucks
It’s completely fucked that families with the money to afford expensive tutoring can score hundreds of points higher on the SAT, and essentially buy their way into a better college. Meanwhile, those of us with less money are left to fend for ourselves.
Beyond that, the SAT itself is pretty damn stupid. It tries to reduce all of your intelligence and mental ability into a single number – not only is that an impossible task, it’s also a pretty shitty thing to do in the first place.
Your SAT score doesn't say much about your intelligence. It's really just a measure of your anxiety levels, how lucky you are, and how much money your parents are willing to waste on your dumb ass.
Recommended Steps for Studying
If you're new or wondering what the best way is to prepare for the SAT, I would recommend doing so in these main steps:
- Start with the SAT 101 guide you're currently reading.
- This will give you a good grasp of the basics and prepare you for the SAT.
- Take an official practice test. A good place to do so is at Khan Academy.
- Look over the mistakes you made, analyze the correct answers.
- Don't just look at the correct answer, figure out how and why you went wrong!
- Study more in depth guides on sections.
- My Math, Writing, and Reading sections are coming soon, and will also be totally free.
Don't just focus on your weaker areas
It's a common misconception that you should spend the majority of your studying time focusing on the sections you did poorly in. I recommend spending roughly equal time across all 3 sections, unless you're near-perfect in a section already (I'm talking like 760+). This is because it's often easier to figure out the mistakes your making in your strong sections, and make small improvements that will easily increase your score.
For example, if you're naturally pretty good at math and you got a 720, it's probably easier to increase that 720 to a 780 than it is to increase your reading score from 520 to 580, if reading is a weakness. But both would increase your total score by the same amount. Make sense?
Get Hyped
Stop giving power to these old-ass mofos who get paid to give highschoolers anxiety attacks with their misleading test questions. They don’t have the right to tell you how smart you are – they are failures, pitiful simps who exist only to suckle on the teardrops of teenagers.
Every time you question your self-worth during the SAT, these boomers get a pay raise. Every time you have a nervous breakdown, they feel a nice little tingle in their pants.
Fuck that. Here, you will train. Here, you will learn to dominate.
And come SAT day, you will fuck shit up.
Quote from a Woke Genius
“But but but Mr. Fuck! Aren’t we giving them exactly what they want by studying for and taking the test anyways??”
Yeah, you aren't wrong. Unfortunately, until big changes happen, tests like the SAT are a necessary evil. In most cases, you either take it (or another shitty test) or you don’t go to college. But that doesn’t mean we have to be happy about it. Yeah, yeah, some colleges are "SAT Optional" but realistically, not having a test score really doesn't look good unless you have a good reason for it.
Here, we are going to ace this test and hate every second of it.
All the essentials in one printable page
If you prefer having an actual PDF of these guides, sign up for my mailing list. You'll get the Ultimate SAT Cheat Sheet to print out, as well as a free practice test designed by me. It's hilarious and full of dumb jokes and swear words, so I promise it's more fun than generic SAT bullshit. I also carefully crafted it to be just as hard and test the same things, so it's legit practice as well. The cheat sheet is an easily printable PDF that you can send to friends, put on your kindle, mail to the FBI as evidence, or do whatever else you want with.
I get your email, you get into college
Your Information is Safe, Broski
Your email and any information you give me will never be shared with anyone. I'm not a shady piece of shit. Also, nobody wants your information anyways, you useless zoomer.